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Junior Year Vision

School Year Creeping In

    

    The next school year is right around the corner. I have a little bit of excitement, but not much. Ever since I started high school, I have not been excited for the school year. I know it is going to be fun because school is what you make out of it, and I always just try to enjoy it, but I'm still not excited for actual school. I had a fantastic summer felt very naive to think it wouldn't end. Also when to volleyball conditioning but did not end up playing volleyball because I’m just not that good at it. But I don’t really care cause I’m not planning on going D1. I do need two seasons of a sport to get the high school requirement. So I might try track in the spring; hopefully I have a car by then.

     I'm going to be a junior, but the main thing I am actually excited for is getting my nails done. It’s kind of random, but this year I’ll have a job, and last year around this time I didn’t. At my career school, we can’t have our nails done. But they kind of make an exception if your nails are really short. Let me know if you want to see my nails throughout the school year.

    The program I’m going into is Medical Assisting. I’ve wanted to be a medical assistant for a while now because I know I can’t be a CNA; I would hate it. But I’m very excited about this because it starts the beginning of me being extremely wealthy in the future.

    My Goal: Medical assistant at a med spa or just a primary care center. When I’m 18 in going to get into stocks in some way. Day Trading or something of the sort. If not that, then something that gives me lots of income that I can still do while in school. I’m in a Dual-enrollment program, so when I get into college I’ll already have two years completed. So I want to take a gap year to travel either before I start college or before I start med school if I get in. I plan to go to medical school, and my top choices are something in Dermatology, Radiology, or Cardiovascular. I know school is going to take a long time, but I’d rather be a doctor in that time than nothing. I want to be one of those people who make being a doctor a side job, like you would never know that I’m a doctor unless I bring it up.

 But we’ll never know; maybe I’ll change my mind by then because I’ve always wanted to be an architect.

    But aside from going to a career school, I’m also very excited to be going to junior year. I hope it is like how junior year is in the movies. When I did my post about improving my social skills, it made me realize it is definitely all in my head. But I’m actually a very social person; I’m just awkward when I start to think, or like how on TikTok it’s like gaining consciousness in person. So I just have to stop getting all in my head and just be myself. I can’t wait to meet new people and make friends.

    I also want to put in effort every day so I feel pretty, and I won't be worrying about anyone else; I'll just feel like a baddie every day. It's not that hard to not go to school looking like a bum; I'm just lazy. I won't be this year, or at least I plan not to. I'll just focus on myself this school year and make friends.

What are you excited for this upcoming school year? Or what are your plans for yourself?

Idea of Romance💕

I don't know how I feel about the idea of love or romance.

The definition of love is: A profound spectrum of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves deep affection, protectiveness, and an active desire to cherish and support someone else’s well-being. 

    I think of love as an obsession you can't escape. You want to spend every waking moment with them, or you feel the need to when you can't, and all you want to do is be with them. If you love someone, they are constantly in your head, not leaving you alone. Sounds like a lot..... But it's ok because both parties are feeling the same. You're able to talk to them about anything, and they lend an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. You and that person really get each other. When I'm in love, I want it to be with someone I love as a person too. They have to be great all around. But I just can't see myself being like that with anyone. 

I don't think I want someone to have such a big emotion over me. It would feel like they have some type of control over me; I would absolutely hate that. But I do want to be in love at least once. So I have to figure that out. But maybe I only feel like that at this moment; when the time comes, maybe I'll change my mind who knows.

    I’ve never been in love with another person before. Can’t really imagine myself in a relationship either. Obviously I love my family, but I mean romantically. Been a while since the last time I had a crush, let alone loved someone. I've found people cute here and there. Almost had a boyfriend in 7th grade and was "married" in kindergarten, but those don't really count. When someone is cute, I do think they are cute, but I don't need that (If you get what I'm saying). I do joke with my friends that I have one, but deep down I know I don't. Sometimes I'll be talking to a boy who likes me, and I start thinking about the pros and cons of being with him, and the cons always outweigh the pros. That's how I know if I like the person, I won't even care about things like that. 

    If I really like them as a person. Just haven't met my person yet. Don't think I want to, though. I just find them so irritating; maybe I'm sexist. I do have a little brother, so does that make my case any better? Anyways, I would definitely rather be single than marry a man I have to settle for; that means the love of my life will have to be perfect. I'm going to be a junior, so maybe I'll get to know someone romantically, but then I think to myself, will I meet the love of my life in high school? I don't think so. It could also be one of those situations where I meet them in high school, but we meet later on. But I think I'll be in love before I meet the love of my life, though. But that's just my thought process.

The Love Of My Life: I don't have a vision of what he looks like yet, but I do know that he will be nice and considerate. He'll listen to me because I do talk a lot, and he'll have great things to say back that I would've never thought of. He will have a decent job so he can buy me nice things. Also, probably will be smarter than me by a little bit because I really do dislike when people are dumb in serious moments, but maybe I can be the dumb one. But he won’t make me feel like an idiot if I don’t know certain things. Also, when he first sees me, he's going to try and talk to me like love at first sight, but from him. That's kind of selfish, though, but I'll like him soon after that; I just want to feel wanted by someone who actually likes certain things about me. I do also want to be friends a little before I start liking him too. He'll be very kind to me, make me feel like the only girl in the world, or else I don't want him. But I'll also love him lots, so it will be fine. He'll also get me nice things that have meaning to them. Everyone likes to be tricked on. I don't know what, but something. I also feel so special when someone gets me a gift since I rarely do get them. But it'll be magical like in the movies, and It's going to feel like a fairy tale. Hopefully, but I have little hope.

    If we push the love of my life stuff to the side thought I would like to get to know someone and be so interested in them. Learning things about people brings me quite a bit of joy. I find the little things they say so interesting. Learning about the person and having someone to spend time with also does sound fun. But I just don’t know how to feel about it. Some people spend every free moment they have with their partner. I couldn't do that, though; I love being by myself too much. About that, That's why I'm also scared to get married because you live with the person, sleep in the same bed as the person, and have to talk to that person. That is a lot of alone time being around another person. Maybe when I get there I'll get it, but right now I don't want to think I would want that.

All this just to say I do love being by myself most of the time, and I love how every person has a different or similar idea of love. But this is just how I'm feeling at the moment. Any life-changing stories about love? I really want to have a different view on it.